2. Biological Mother

Filial sons do not speak of their father’s faults.

Besides, the family itself knew the truth. Though the two brothers had their differences, one felt that their parents had been biased, taking only his younger brother to guard the frontier while raising him personally, and the other felt that after studying day and night, he still fell short of the legitimate eldest son. So they quarreled now and then. Yet when disaster struck without warning and the pillars of the household died one after another, the brothers did everything in their power to keep the family standing and preserve the honor of the ducal manor.

It was only a pity that each carried an unresolved knot in his heart.

As Madam Yu thought of this, her eyes grew red despite herself.

Seeing the old nanny she knew so well with reddened eyes and a grief-stricken face creased by wind and frost, the young imperial physician Wang’s expression shifted. He forced a light tone. “Ah, listen to my mouth. Madam Yu, what I mean is that there may be another possibility. Children have keen eyes, and now it is nearly the seventh month, when the gates of the underworld open. Could he have run into something unclean?”

In plain words: a haunting.

To old men and women, that reason often worked even better than an ordinary sickness.

At that, Madam Yu had already vaguely considered the same possibility before, but she still could not help stressing with excitement, “Even if it is some evil spirit, this is the Residence of Glory, an estate built by imperial command. What demon or ghost would dare come near it?”

By the end, her tone carried a proud sense of honor.

Watching Madam Yu’s words turn sharp and stern as though she were about to take up arms to subdue the enemy, the young imperial physician Wang fell silent for a long moment before saying, “Then I’ll prescribe medicine for Young Master Xiu first, treating it as a knot in the heart.”

“But the boy also has a fever and convulsions. If I had not been quick with a needle just now, he might have bitten his tongue. So I’ll need to use stronger medicine. And to make matters worse, Young Master Xiu already has some weakness from the womb, so I fear it may be dangerous. Madam, please write to Lord Cui Enhou and Cui Qiancheng and explain everything. I’ll also go home and ask my father whether there is a steadier method.”

Under normal circumstances, thanks to the old favors of two generations of the ducal family and the Wang family’s standing, they could have summoned one of the pediatric masters who specialized in caring for imperial princes and noble scions. But summer heat had driven the court to the mountain resort, and naturally the imperial physicians had gone with the emperor.

Madam Yu glanced sideways at Cui Xiu, who was still curled tightly into a ball, and let out a slow breath. “Thank you, Young Master Wang, for your guidance. I... I’ll write to the boy’s family. If we are to make offerings, we ought to hold one for Madame Liu as well.”

At those words, the young imperial physician Wang’s gaze slowly settled on Cui Xiu.

Cui Xiu’s mother, Madame Liu, had once suffered a difficult labor. The Cui family had been unable to find a famed physician for women’s illnesses, and only his father, unable to bear it, had set aside some of his pride to invite one. After all, the Cui family’s line was far too thin; in a thousand acres of farmland, there were only these few shoots.

Moreover, aside from being careful and proper, Madame Liu had also been a mother of great strength.

Back then she had willingly taken harsh medicine and endured the ordeal of the third-day cleansing ritual just to avert the omen that her son’s birth would bring death upon his mother, before finally passing away.

“That’s true. Before long it will be... nearly time for the mourning period to end, isn’t it?” the young imperial physician Wang said with feeling. “Maybe Madame Liu’s heart has remained entangled and she wants to see whether the child is doing well, and so has not left. Why not make the whole thing grand? Let’s treat it like using a living horse to pull a dead cart, if you will: the medicine goes down, and the ritual is performed.”

His father had said that if a life could be saved, then any method would do, so long as it worked.

Hearing the key words “make it grand,” Madam Yu hesitated briefly, then finally nodded and hurried off to write the letter.

She did have some standing, and the duke had also instructed her to oversee affairs in the manor, but some matters still needed the master’s approval.

The next day, Madam Yu received a tear-soaked reply, accusing certain people of judging by appearances and assigning the Residence of Glory’s family to a remote place; the quarters where the whole household was crammed together were not only cramped and stifling, but the west-facing rooms were baked by the blazing sun for eight hours out of every twelve...

As she read on, Madam Yu’s heart ached terribly, and her own eyes reddened.

The young imperial physician Wang, rising on tiptoe to peer at the reply, let out a dry laugh and said without restraint, “Madam Yu, let us focus on business.”

The entire letter was a litany of complaints, and the only useful lines were the last three: not a single shoot from the Cui family could be lost, the affair had to be made grand and solemn, the manor treasury should be opened, and if there was trouble, go to Divine Physician Wang.

Seeing Cui Xiu, who seemed trapped in some bewitchment and had even come down with a fever, Madam Yu nodded through tears.

The young imperial physician Wang looked at the vast but silent ducal residence, with no one truly in charge, and grudgingly accepted the final title of “Divine Physician Wang.” He ran about in the blazing heat, deliberately avoiding famous temples such as Imperial Music Temple, which wealthy clans and noble ladies liked to visit, and instead searched for temples with a good reputation that common folk trusted.

After all, Cui Xiu was an illegitimate son.

And Madame Liu had come from the Yellow Springs Pavilion under the Bureau of Music and Entertainment, the place where women from convicted officials’ households were punished, the very lowest class of courtesan, who could not even be taught dancing or singing.

So discretion was still necessary.

------

For the past few days, Cui Xiu had been in a daze. Only the bitter flavor that flowed down his throat like gall boiled him back to some measure of clarity. Yet whenever that brief lucidity came, he wanted to think carefully about how he should act in the future, and then the pain in his head would become unbearable.

After suffering several rounds of it, Cui Xiu simply gave up.

He stopped thinking. He was only three years old right now. Even if... even if this storybook said the Residence of Glory would be searched and sealed, if the confiscation happened now, at his age he would at most be sent to the palace as a eunuch. If it happened later, he would at most be exiled to the frontier.

So he would not think about it. Not at all.

Just as Cui Xiu was trying with all his might to rid himself of distracting thoughts and empty his mind, a woman suddenly appeared before him. She was plainly dressed, in a graceful long robe of pale blue-green with a matching horse-face skirt, her bearing gentle and refined.

The next instant, Cui Xiu covered his eyes and muttered, “Do not look at what is improper.”

“Young Master Xiu, do not be afraid. I am your mother, Liu Luying.”

Hearing the choked, tearful voice, Cui Xiu grew so tense that even his legs trembled. He dared only part his fingers a little and peek through the gap at the person before him, whose face was full of maternal tenderness, even the voice carrying boundless love.

When he saw her oval face, not the foxlike, seductive visage that the servants had gossiped about, but nothing like it at all, Cui Xiu felt as though his eyes had been burned. They ached terribly. Yet thinking of his own origins, he finally dropped to his knees with a thud and tried his best to explain in a rush, though his words still stumbled from nervousness: “I... I... Please let your student explain. I... I am not your son, and I do not know how I came to this world. I have never seen my real mother, but I have heard people say she was only a singer, so...”

Before he could finish, Cui Xiu realized he had been taken into someone’s arms, and his face turned red at once. “You... you are a kidnapper?”

But... but this embrace did indeed feel like a legitimate mother’s arms, warm and comforting, like the winter sun, making one unexpectedly feel at ease and even wanting to secretly doze for a while.

So much so that he forgot to struggle.

Liu Luying lowered her head and gently stroked the little topknot on Cui Xiu’s head. The tenderness and reluctance in her eyes grew ever clearer as she slowly explained, easing his fear: “My child, your mother was the daughter of the Imperial Observatory’s Director. Your grandfather, my father, was caught up in the struggle for the throne and dragged our whole clan down with him. Unable to endure the humiliation, I intended to use a secret family method to change my appearance and live under another name. But fate took a turn, and I was redeemed into the Cui family.”

Cui Xiu stared blankly. “Ah?”

“When I gave birth to you in pain years ago, I used that secret method again, and who would have thought it would separate my son’s soul from his body.” Liu Luying said with remorse, “Now your soul has merely returned to its proper place.”

Hearing this, Cui Xiu was utterly stunned, and muttered, “The gentleman keeps distance from strange powers and uncanny spirits.”

“But there are also dreams in a millet pillow, and Zhuang Zhou dreaming of a butterfly.” Liu Luying suppressed the sorrow in her eyes when she heard him blurt that out.

The Imperial Observatory observed the heavens, calculated the solar terms, and set the calendar. Its posts were hereditary, and without special imperial decree one could neither be promoted nor retire. Thus some families carried on these specialized traditions from generation to generation.

Regrettably, the Liu family’s inheritance would still end with her.

Forcing herself to stay composed, Liu Luying glanced at the monks and Daoists not far away, and her words quickened. “These teachings from the old masters do have some merit. They can be passed down for a hundred generations just as the teachings of the sages can. My son, do not be rigid or stubborn in your studies.”

Such an admonition, unlike any he had heard before, rang in Cui Xiu’s ears. Startled, he widened his eyes. “Confucius and Mencius are the words of sages. How... how can you...”

Before he could finish, Cui Xiu heard a Buddhist invocation.

It seemed to come from the sky, carrying a certain pressure.

Still trying to make sense of it, Cui Xiu saw Liu Luying hasten her speech. “Whatever school of thought or principle, your mother... cough... your mother only hopes that my child will be happy. So do not grieve, and do not keep sorrow locked in your heart.”

At those words, he could not help panicking. “Mother, are you really my mother?”

Liu Luying answered with a smile, “Good child. From now on, live steadily and earn your place in this world by your own skill. Do not imitate your maternal grandfather, greedy enough to make a snake try to swallow an elephant, and go plotting some meteor-at-rest slander against court officials.”

“Beware, beware!”

Her warning carried six parts reflection and four parts hope. Hearing it, Cui Xiu’s heart turned sour and aching. He lifted his hands, wanting to imitate his mother and embrace her in return, only to find the figure before him already fading into nothingness.

“Mother—”

Cui Xiu cried out in anguish, only to discover that the scene before him had completely changed. What met his eyes were familiar yet slightly unfamiliar old women, maidservants, and even a few guards.

“Madam Yu...” The moment he opened his mouth, Cui Xiu found his throat was so hoarse it sounded terrible, like the ducklings he had once seen near the academy, quacking and rasping.

“Young Master Xiu, have a sip of honey water to soothe your throat,” Madam Yu said with aching concern, cradling him as she fed him water. “Do not be afraid, Young Master. We just asked a master to perform a rite for Madame Liu’s memorial day, and you woke up. That shows your mother is protecting and blessing you. From now on, you will surely live smoothly and be blessed with good fortune.”

Cui Xiu followed Madam Yu’s movement and drank, then glanced out of the corner of his eye at the talismans that had somehow been posted all over the room, and then at the masters outside, who seemed solemn and dignified. Carefully tugging on Madam Yu’s sleeve, he tried hard to smile ingratiatingly. “Madam Yu, will this... will this cost a lot, a lot of money? Is my monthly allowance enough?”

Will it... offend Madame Yu and make her dislike my mother?

At the last thought, Cui Xiu swept his gaze over the servants around him and did not dare say it plainly, only thinking to himself: from what he had seen and heard, no household would ever go to such lengths for a concubine.

Yet even if he still did not know whether what he had just experienced was a dream or real, for that warm embrace alone, he would willingly write an IOU.

Hearing the words “monthly allowance,” Madam Yu stared in astonishment.

The young imperial physician Wang slapped the table at once. “Well, now we’ve finally gotten to the bottom of it! I told you, what little kid would have such heavy worries? Madam, you’d better check whether someone has been whispering nonsense around Cui Xiu while he is in mourning.”

“Do not let him be misled and corrupted, and lose another one of the few remaining shoots.”

From what he knew of his old friend, he absolutely would not remarry or have children, so Lord Cui Enhou had only one shoot left: Cui Hu.

Thus the cousins were all that remained closest to Cui Hu.

And including Cui Xiu, this illegitimate younger cousin, there were only two!

For a great aristocratic clan, what could that number do?

Back in the day, when they fought in groups, the Cui family’s brats lost every time.

Because the Cui family only had two children, and Cui Qiancheng would not play with them, they always had no presence at all when they fought. Even when he had used drugs to launch a surprise attack, he still got beaten. Only when Cui Enhou cunningly ran to the imperial palace for help and dragged a bunch of princes into the fray did they barely manage a draw.

Suddenly remembering a buried childhood memory, the young imperial physician Wang lowered his head to hide a flash of grief, then forcibly lifted his face into a smile. “Come now, whether you cry, shout, or wail, so long as you get that pent-up气 out, it will do. The gods and buddhas have been invoked; now it is time for the proper medicine.”

“I’ve already found the excuse for you: it is because the medicine is too bitter. Cry away, cry away~”

Looking at the strange man approaching with a bowl of medicine in hand, Cui Xiu saw that he was about thirty years old, and that Madam Yu, the housekeeper, treated him with considerable respect. At once he performed a proper salute and said politely, “Father, forgive your son for being too ill to bow to you.”

The moment the words fell, the entire room went dead silent.