Chapter Eighteen: The Lecture (Part One)

During the morning reading session, Xiao Lin slouched at his desk, listless and dispirited.

“Xiao Lin, what’s wrong? Didn’t you sleep well last night?” Wang Yuqing asked with concern, noticing his lackluster state.

Xiao Lin looked at Wang Yuqing, nearly in tears. The night before, he’d been interrogated relentlessly in the dorm by his friends, especially Yuan Weiye, who hovered around him like an incessant fly. It reminded Xiao Lin of Monk Tang from Stephen Chow’s “A Chinese Odyssey,” with that line, “Even demons are born of mothers.” He desperately wanted to snap at Yuan Weiye, “You must be demon-born yourself.”

“Students, please proceed to the school auditorium for a lecture. Class monitors, organize your classes immediately…” The announcement rang out.

In high school, besides the endless mock exams and practice sheets assigned by teachers, school administrators would also invite renowned figures and professional lecturers to inspire the students—talks on college entrance prospects, mastering English, current job markets, and so on.

Today, Innovation High had invited a lecturer rumored to be a professor from a prestigious university, a significant effort on the school’s part, just for the senior students. The event was held in the auditorium.

Within the auditorium, Tan Linlin struggled through the crowd, arms full of snacks and a drink in hand, but couldn’t find her class amidst the sea of dark-haired heads.

Wang Yuqing, sharp-eyed as always, spotted Tan Linlin buzzing about like a lost bee.

“Linlin, over here!” Wang Yuqing waved and called out.

Hearing her name, Tan Linlin followed the voice and spotted Wang Yuqing. She wriggled her round figure through the throng, calling out “Excuse me! Excuse me!” with every step. After countless apologies, she finally reached Wang Yuqing, exhaling a long breath. “There are so many people! I was nearly squashed. What happened to family planning, anyway?” she grumbled, tearing open a bag of chips and munching, thrusting a handful at Wang Yuqing.

Wang Yuqing glanced at Tan Linlin’s chubby hands covered in chip crumbs and shook her head. “You eat. I’m not hungry. And you blame family planning? Just now, when I called you over, you said you were going to the restroom. Don’t tell me you got all these snacks from there!”

Tan Linlin giggled. “If I’d said I was going to the shop to buy snacks, you’d never have let me go!”

“You really are the best, Yuqing—always saving me a seat. Here, Sister Tan bought your favorite cookies.” She pulled a tiny pack from her pocket, trying to curry favor.

“At least you have a conscience, you little rascal.” Wang Yuqing nodded approvingly at the cookies in her palm. A sly glint flashed through Tan Linlin’s eyes.

“Wait a minute, just now you called yourself ‘Sister Tan’?” Wang Yuqing was about to eat a cookie when she noticed Tan Linlin stifling laughter. Realization dawned, and she gave Linlin a playful tap on the head. Tan Linlin cried out dramatically, feigning pain, making Wang Yuqing burst into giggles.

“Hey, Boss Xiao, can you tell me what Wang Yuqing is laughing about?” Yuan Weiye sidled up to Xiao Lin.

Xiao Lin pulled away as Yuan Weiye’s face got uncomfortably close. “How should I know? I’m not a worm in Wang Yuqing’s stomach,” he replied, rolling his eyes.

“Heh, sitting next to her, laughing together—you must have made progress! Come on, tell your brother all about it.”

Xiao Lin was helpless in the face of Yuan Weiye’s leering curiosity. He stood and moved to the row ahead, taking a seat beside Xu Tong, leaving Yuan Weiye muttering to himself.

Seating in the auditorium was by class. Class One, the honors class, was placed squarely in the center facing the stage, but not in the front row—everyone knew why: the “spray zone” of the lecturer. It was customary for the girls to sit in front, the boys behind.

The auditorium’s PA system crackled to life. “Students, please settle down. Professor Yan Zheng will arrive shortly. When he does, please give him a warm welcome…” followed by a lengthy preamble.

“Ugh,” Xu Tong stretched and yawned. “Why do we have to endure these boring lectures? I’d rather spend the time doing a few more practice exams.”

“Xu Tong, mind your attitude. The school must have its reasons. Besides, today’s guest speaker is quite famous. If you pay attention, you might benefit a lot,” Lin Xudong said earnestly.

Xu Tong slouched in his seat, glancing sideways at Lin Xudong, drawling, “Is that so, Doctor Lin?”

Just as Lin Xudong was about to continue his admonition, a middle-aged man appeared on stage. The announcement blared, “Now, please welcome Professor Yan Zheng with enthusiastic applause.”

A round of applause erupted.

Hearing this, Lin Xudong instantly sat up straight, eyes fixed on the stage. The man was of average build, in his forties or fifties, sporting a small mustache and gold-rimmed glasses, exuding an air of scholarly refinement.

Xu Tong, bored, turned to say something to Xiao Lin, only to find him equally focused, so he shut his eyes and feigned rest.

“Ahem, good afternoon, students. I’m delighted to be at Innovation High, speaking to the future pillars of our nation. Allow me to introduce myself: my name is Yan Zheng—‘Yan’ as in ‘solemn,’ and ‘Zheng’ as in ‘upright.’ But don’t be misled by my name; my students call me the Big Kid. I hope today’s lecture will help you. My topic is: How to prepare for the college entrance exam, how to chart your future, and the university of your dreams.”

Seeing the attentive faces below, Yan Zheng nodded in satisfaction.

“First, let’s talk about the college entrance exam. Look at the banners your school has hung—‘The exam changes your life; beyond it lies a new world.’”

“Let me share a little anecdote. I once visited an ordinary high school where, come spring, the students couldn’t help falling asleep in class—no matter what the teachers did. I was invited to give a lecture there, and their principal asked if I had any solutions. Guess what I suggested?” Yan Zheng paused for effect.

“Sir, I know!” Yuan Weiye suddenly raised his hand.

Yan Zheng hadn’t expected to be interrupted, but since a student wanted to answer, it wouldn’t do to ignore him. “Very well, let’s hear it.”

“I bet you suggested sitting a pretty girl next to every boy—then the boys wouldn’t fall asleep. Take our class, for example: ever since Wang Yuqing started sitting with Xiao Lin, he’s never dozed off in class.” Yuan Weiye finished, looking to Yan Zheng for approval.

A tremendous burst of laughter erupted, and all the students turned to look at Yuan Weiye.

Wang Tao, in the middle of a sip, spewed his drink.

Xiao Lin’s head nearly exploded. Yuan Weiye really was one of a kind—to actually say such things aloud!

Sitting beside Yuan Weiye, Wang Tao hastily tugged his sleeve, signaling him to sit down.

“What? Wasn’t my answer correct?” Yuan Weiye asked in confusion.

Wang Tao was at a loss, his mind filled with exasperation. A true oddball—one in full bloom.

There are oddballs every year, but this year there are especially many!