Chapter 18

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Xie Junyan was meticulous and unwilling to have his mother hastily finish a meal in the bustling main hall, so he had reserved a private room in advance.

As his words fell, the private room grew silent, with only the golden filigree cloisonné incense burner shaped like entwined lotus flowers continuing to emit wisps of fragrant smoke.

Shi Lingyao lowered her eyes, reluctant to show too much resistance in front of her child, yet unable to gladly follow their wishes and return to the Xie family as Xie Zongwei’s wife.

When she first married, she had been confident and determined to live in harmony with her husband, but now that feeling seemed like a distant memory.

Shi Lingyao remained silent, but the slight trembling of her eyelashes betrayed her inner turmoil, complicated and hard to express. Xie Junyan noticed and sighed softly.

He grasped Shi Lingyao’s hand tightly and whispered, “Mother, what we need is a healthy and happy mother—not just a mother as a Xie family woman.”

“Don’t worry, I will never force you.”

The warmth and softness of the young man’s palm flowed through their joined hands, comforting Shi Lingyao. She looked up at Xie Junyan, whose features resembled Xie Zongwei’s but retained the gentle freshness of youth, making him appear softer and more approachable.

Her heart softened. No matter what, she and Xie Zongwei were truly inseparable.

If possible, which child wouldn’t want both parents and a reunited family?

Once she met with Ye Niang and understood some of what had happened over the past decade, she thought perhaps it was time to see Xie Zongwei again.

That old scoundrel so easily attracted trouble—surely he wouldn’t force a wife whom the world believed had been dead for ten years to stay by his side?

Shi Lingyao pondered uncertainly, realizing her child was quietly awaiting her response. She nodded softly. “I understand your wish, Dabao.”

Looking at her young and graceful face, Xie Junyan smiled. “You probably have noticed that I, Junting, and Father aren’t very close.”

Shi Lingyao’s expression darkened with displeasure. She nodded.

Sensing his mother’s dissatisfaction, Xie Junyan’s gaze softened further. “As a son, one shouldn’t judge the way a father conducts himself. Aside from his cold temperament and infrequent company, Father has been blameless in other respects.”

“You…” Xie Junyan hesitated, skipping over some details, “After that time, not only Grandmother but many urged Father to remarry quickly so a new wife could manage the household and care for the young ones. He refused. For these ten years, he neither remarried nor had children or pets outside. He moved out of the Changting Courtyard and has lived alone in the study ever since.”

As for whether Father had ever been despondent enough to almost follow Mother in a desperate act, Xie Junyan was unsure if that was true or mere rumor.

The matriarch did not wish to tell him, and Father certainly would not disclose the truth of such gossip.

He squeezed Shi Lingyao’s hand gently but firmly. “Mother, I tell you this not to speak well of Father or excuse him, but because I don’t want you to regret your decision later if you learn these things by chance.”

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Therefore, he risked being misunderstood by his mother to share these matters.

No matter what she decided, Xie Junyan would stand by her and follow her.

But he could not bear to see his mother later regret a decision made without full knowledge.

That would be unfair to her and unfair to Father.

The young man’s eyes were clear and bright, filled with deep affection and reverence.

Shi Lingyao understood Dabao’s meaning.

At first, learning that Xie Zongwei had remained unmarried for ten years, singly raising two children, shook her.

She had assumed that a man as rational and pragmatic as Xie Zongwei would, after her departure, remarry according to custom—perhaps not to a beloved, but for the sake of the Xie family and the children.

Of course, that was only her speculation. After reuniting with Xie Xiaobao, she vaguely gathered from his words that Xie Zongwei hadn’t surrounded himself with numerous wives and concubines as she had imagined.

Yet hearing from Dabao that he hadn’t remarried and had lived alone in the study for a decade stirred an indescribable feeling in her heart—like a swarm of tiny ants crawling over her chest, itching yet strangely hollow.

She realized the rift between herself and Xie Zongwei was not only due to the ten years of lost companionship but also the disappointment and sorrow accumulated over their three years of marriage.

Shi Lingyao fell into silent contemplation. Xie Junyan did not rush her but lowered his eyes to watch the red robe and jade-green skirt she wore.

The colors suited her well. With spring in full bloom, he thought of having the weavers bring her new clothes so she could be happier when he and his brother were away.

Suddenly, the hand he held twitched.

Xie Junyan looked up to meet his mother’s gentle eyes.

As a child, he had wondered why he looked so much like Father while his younger brother resembled Mother.

It seemed unfair.

Later, he accepted it, thinking perhaps Mother saw that his brother was a bit dimwitted and, seeing those eyes like hers, found it hard to scold him harshly.

“No matter what I decide, our blood ties won’t change.” Shi Lingyao gently embraced her beloved and aching child, the faint scent of bamboo fresh in his breath making her nose tingle with emotion. “Dabao, thank you for understanding me.”

If the twins stubbornly wished for her to return to the Xie family, to their father’s side, after hesitation and difficulty, for the sake of the children, she might truly do as they hoped.

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But they did not insist.

Truly her good boys!

Shi Lingyao was moved and casually pressed a loud kiss onto the smooth, pale cheek of the young man.

Xie Junyan’s face flushed crimson instantly!

Shi Lingyao bore no embarrassment; his chubby, soft cheeks had been delightful to kiss when he was little.

If Xie Zongwei hadn’t forbidden her from sharing a bed with both children, she would have kissed him hundreds of times a day.

“Where is Xiaobao? Why hasn’t he returned yet?”

Shi Lingyao wondered if suddenly kissing Dabao might seem strange to Xiaobao.

She watched Dabao’s rosy face. The youth, elegant and refined like rare porcelain, flushed deeply. His slightly upturned phoenix eyes drooped, the corners moist with unshed tears, stirring her motherly heart to near melting.

She longed to kiss him again.

“Ahem, let’s go look for him. I wonder where Xiaobao has run off to.”

Xie Junyan silently helped his mother to her feet, his lips pressed tightly together, betraying his youthful shyness.

He didn’t want to find his brother—he only wished to be alone with Mother, to hear her gently call him Dabao.

As the door to the private room opened and Shi Lingyao stepped out, the hem of her jade-green skirt brushed the doorway.

Ahead, a group of people was slowly ascending the stairs.

At the front stood a man of noble bearing and striking presence.

His naturally handsome face wore a faint, almost indifferent expression, like a brilliant cloud in the distant sky—vivid yet inherently aloof, inspiring awe and discouraging intimacy.

Shi Lingyao stared blankly.

It was Xie Zongwei.

Xie Zongwei, ten years later.