Chapter 9

Ma San, the coachman, was startled by the command that had been shouted with such urgency. Before he could even steady the reins, Xie Zongwei had already leaped from the carriage.

Ma San and the guards stationed nearby were taken aback. They watched as the Grand Secretary—usually as composed and dignified as a deity—strode expressionlessly into the throng of people. He scanned his surroundings, his elegant back radiating a sense of panic and an indescribable yearning. The guards found this behavior deeply perplexing.

What had his lordship seen? How could he be so agitated as to lose his composure?

The street was bustling with an endless stream of people, many of whom turned to look at him. Observing such a refined and graceful man suddenly plunging into the crowd with a trace of anxiety on his face, they assumed he must be searching for someone. How lucky that person must be, they mused.

Amidst the murmur of low-voiced speculation and the cries of street vendors, Xie Zongwei remained indifferent. His deep, sharp eyes swept rapidly over the shifting shadows, but after a long while, he failed to catch another glimpse of that familiar figure he had glimpsed for a fleeting moment.

The bustling world of men could not hold her shadow.

Xie Zongwei realized this with a delayed, sinking heart. He felt as if the blade hanging over his chest had fallen, cutting deep and drawing blood. The pain made him press his lips into a thin, tight line, yet he could not bring himself to leave, hoping that the figure might show him mercy once more and reappear.

He stood rooted to the spot, motionless. Many people brushed past him, stealing glances at the man who was as handsome as a statue carved from jade. The guards stood scattered around, ensuring his safety while fearing to disturb him. However, as the crowd in that area grew denser, and they noticed several young women and housewives shyly linking arms and passing by his lordship again and again, the guards felt that letting him stand there was no longer appropriate.

"My Lord..." A guard approached, steeling himself. "It is time to return."

It would be troublesome if the Jingzhao Yin were alerted and brought men to maintain order in the crowded street.

Xie Zongwei paused for a long while before turning back toward the carriage. The onlookers were disappointed, watching his tall, slender back with longing.

Shi Lingyao, who had just emerged from a pastry shop with a bag full of treats, looked curiously in the direction of the crowd. She saw nothing. Withdrawing her gaze, she took a bite of a jujube paste pastry and squinted her eyes in contentment. This was the flavor she remembered!

Meanwhile, back in the carriage, the guards exchanged glances as they saw his lordship board in silence, none of them able to fathom what had happened. They had been by his side for years, and this was the first time they had seen him so distraught. Yet, had there been any veterans among them who had followed Xie Zongwei for over a decade, they would surely have spat out their sunflower seeds in disdain. *Distraught?* Ten years ago, his lordship had been so distraught he had nearly thrown himself off a cliff!

The carriage moved slowly, shutting out the gazes and whispers. The interior was furnished with austere simplicity. Sitting alone in the center, he appeared inexplicably lonely. Xie Zongwei lowered his eyes, his lips curled with a hint of bitterness.

*Indeed,* he thought. *Why would she ever wish to appear before him?*

He had provoked Junting, and Junyan was displeased with him because of it. Having offended both children at once, if she were still here... she would likely be angry with him alongside them.

Lately, memories of her had surfaced more frequently. Xie Zongwei rubbed his aching temples, feeling a profound weariness. Waves of despondency washed over him, one after another.

The carriage pulled to a steady stop in front of the Xie residence. As Xie Zongwei stepped out, the guards stole a glance and, seeing him as lofty and composed as ever, breathed a sigh of relief.

***

"Where are Junyan and Junting?"

"Young Masters Eldest and Second are currently paying their respects to the Old Matriarch," Uncle Zhong replied with a smile.

Xie Zongwei paused, then proceeded toward the Old Matriarch's Shouchun Courtyard. The courtyard was lively. As he entered the moon gate, the sound of laughter drifted toward him on the cool night breeze.

Seeing the master of the house return, the maidservants hurried to lift the curtain. "Old Matriarch, his lordship has come to pay his respects."

The laughter in the room ceased. Xie Zongwei entered with a calm, measured gait. The Old Matriarch sat on a Luohan bed behind an ink-lacquered mother-of-pearl screen, with her two handsome grandsons seated on either side of her. They had clearly been saying something amusing, as the Old Matriarch’s face was still flushed with laughter, but the moment she saw her son, her kind expression turned frosty.

Beside the Luohan bed sat a low embroidered stool occupied by a beautiful and composed noblewoman. Xie Zongwei glanced at her, then his gaze flicked lightly over Xie Junting. *Still sitting there, are you? That’s not your style.*

"Father."
"Father."

Sensing his gaze, the brothers stood up to offer their greetings. Xie Zongwei nodded and walked to the Old Matriarch. "Mother," he said respectfully.

The Old Matriarch snorted. "Spare me. An old woman like me can hardly handle a greeting from the Grand Secretary!"

Xie Yongxi, feeling slighted by her brother's coldness—he hadn't even offered her a smile or asked when she had returned to her maiden home—spoke up with dissatisfaction. "Brother is a busy man, rarely here to serve Mother. Junyan and Junting are busy with their studies. If I didn't come back often to keep her company, I shudder to think how lonely Mother would be!"

As she finished speaking, silence fell over the room, save for the incessant chirping of the pearl bird in its plum-blossom copper cage. A flash of schadenfreude crossed Xie Junting’s eyes, while Xie Junyan lowered his head, silently reviewing his studies in his mind.

The Old Matriarch looked at her eldest son, who stood there with an icy expression. Though he was always this way and she couldn't tell if he was upset by his sister's words, she gave her daughter a sharp look. "Rest for a moment. When is Yunxian coming to fetch you?"

Liang Yunxian, Xie Yongxi’s husband, was the Minister of the Court of Imperial Sacrifices. They had been married for years and were considered a harmonious couple, though they remained childless, a fact that had caused some murmurs within the Liang family. However, intimidated by the fact that their daughter-in-law had a Grand Secretary for a brother, they dared not take concubines without consulting her.

At the mention of her husband, Xie Yongxi pondered. "He has been very busy lately. It doesn't matter; I can just sleep here with Mother. It's lovely for us mother and daughter to talk at night."

The Old Matriarch sighed, looking at the daughter who had grown little despite being married for years. "I am getting old and sleep lightly. If you keep me up with your chatter, I won't be able to rest."

A snicker broke the tension. Xie Yongxi’s gaze turned into a dagger, landing on Xie Junting. "What are you laughing at?"

"I was just thinking that this pearl bird of Grandmother's has finally met its match. Aunt, if you can't sleep tonight, you should let it keep you company."

Hearing his teasing tone, Xie Yongxi wasn't angry; instead, she opened her eyes wide in surprise. "Oh? Has Junting learned to use four-character idioms?"

Even Xie Junyan couldn't help but look at his aunt. It was hard to imagine her arguing with his mother, as he had seen before. With an aunt who was so... *peculiar*, it was a wonder his mother could even find the patience to quarrel with her.

***

The Old Matriarch couldn't help but laugh, casting a playful glance at her grandson. "Our Junting didn't put his heart into his studies before, but now that he is serious, he is just as clever and studious as Junyan!"

Xie Junting knew the Old Matriarch meant well and truly doted on him, but he felt awkward; he disliked being compared to his brother.

Xie Zongwei had stood in the room for a long time, having spoken only the two words of greeting. Just as the others were beginning to treat him like a piece of jade statuary, he spoke. "Mother is right. Junting, return to the Imperial Academy tomorrow. You have fallen behind in your lessons for several days; you cannot delay any longer."

His tone was calm but carried a hint of concern. The Old Matriarch nodded repeatedly, giving her son an appreciative look. Seeing her grandson look reluctant, she quickly added, "Junting, your father is right. He has already resolved that misunderstanding you had with the son of the Left Vice Minister of the Ministry of Personnel. Just study with peace of mind; no one will dare provoke you!"

Xie Zongwei felt a sense of helplessness. He often worried that his mother’s indulgence would only make Junting more unruly. Yet, thinking of the fleeting glimpse he had caught earlier that day, he said nothing more, tacitly agreeing with the Old Matriarch.

Xie Junyan’s refined brows lifted slightly, sensing that something was amiss.

Within a few sentences, Xie Junting found himself packed off to the Imperial Academy for the next morning. He opened his mouth in protest, then closed it. *Whatever. I’ll just climb the wall again.* He had finally received news of his mother; he would not give up now.

Xie Zongwei looked at his youngest son, who had suddenly turned obedient, then at his eldest. "Go get some rest early. Junyan, do not study by candlelight tonight."

"Yes, Father," Xie Junyan replied.

The conversation between father and son was stark. Xie Zongwei hesitated, intending to return to his study, when Xie Yongxi stopped him. "Brother, there is a relative of Yunxian’s family, a girl of great beauty and gentle temperament. Why don't you—"

Before she could finish, Xie Zongwei cast a cold glance at her. "You have truly grown bold, haven't you? Arranging my affairs?"

Xie Yongxi had feared this brother, who was five or six years her senior, since childhood. Now that he was Grand Secretary, his presence was even more formidable. Under that icy stare, she froze, watching helplessly as he walked away.

It took a while for her to recover, and she ran to her mother to complain. "Mother, look at Brother! I was only trying to help him, and he spoke to me like that!"

The Old Matriarch waved her hand, signaling the two grandsons to leave. Seeing their downcast expressions, she was not pleased and glared at her daughter. "You—why must you bring that up in front of the children? How long has it been since Yaoniang’s memorial day? Do you think the three of them feel good hearing you talk like that?"

Stung by her mother’s reprimand, Xie Yongxi lowered her head, feeling a pang of guilt. Yet, stubborn by nature, she soon felt defiant. "But sister-in-law has been gone for ten years! Brother can’t remain a widower forever, can he? I thought since Si-yan is Yunxian’s cousin and we know her background, her marrying Brother would bring our families closer together."

Though she was confident in managing her husband, her childlessness left her feeling insecure. If she could marry her mother-in-law’s niece to her brother, the Xie and Liang families would be more closely bound, solidifying her position in the Liang household.

The Old Matriarch knew her daughter’s character and found her foolishness tiresome. She didn't take it seriously, but upon hearing the selfish motive behind the suggestion, she was stunned.

"Mother?" Xie Yongxi asked, feeling uneasy under her mother’s strange gaze.

*Truly,* the Old Matriarch thought, *a married daughter is like spilled water.*

She gave a bitter laugh and, wanting nothing more to do with her, called for the maidservants to ready the carriage and send Xie Yongxi back to the Liang residence. Before she could react, Xie Yongxi was politely escorted out.

The night air was cool. She pulled her silk shawl tighter around her arms and climbed into the carriage, fuming. *How could Mother and Brother be so inconsiderate of her?*