Chapter 3 I Will Repay You Even as a Ghost
Xia An agreed.
It wasn’t solely her flawless beauty that compelled him to decide.
The notion that a beauty is blameless or that looks are justice was merely the worldview of men from the lower and middle classes.
Xia An understood that in this world, “a beautiful face is as fragile as thin paper” was the true rule.
In the circles he once belonged to, beauties were not scarce.
Yet, the fragile and pitiful Tang Wan before him reminded Xia An of his past life—of Zuo You.
Having lived thirty-six years, Xia An was undoubtedly successful in the eyes of outsiders.
When he divorced Le Ning, half of their shared assets were enough for an ordinary family to strive for three generations.
But like any ordinary man, he was painfully aware of the endless regrets in his life.
He had already figured out the meaning of rebirth and what he must do before even leaving campus for the first time, and had made plans accordingly.
Tang Wan was merely an unexpected complication.
In his previous life, she had been but a fleeting, dazzling presence in Xia An’s world during his youth.
He didn’t know where the miscalculation had occurred this time, that made her suddenly break into his life.
Yet Xia An had an inexplicable premonition: if he did not help her now, it would be yet another regret.
During the sixteen years in the original timeline searching for Zuo You, a revered monk, always traveling with great dignity, once told Xia An:
“Let go of attachment to self, and you will find freedom; reversing cause and effect, that is rebirth.”
He had been reborn, had met her, and she had been delivered to him.
Delivered to this very “bug” in time and space ripples that traced back to the present.
Curious about the cause and effect woven behind it all, Xia An accepted the enigma.
...
...
On the taxi ride to the Provincial Central Hospital, Tang Wan clung tightly to Xia An’s arm, too exhausted to close her eyes even for a moment.
Xia An knew she feared he might change his mind.
He used a 2G network to check Tang Wan’s illness—indeed, it was incurable.
Surgery held little significance; as she had said, the chances were slim she would ever make it off the operating table.
Feeling the coldness of her small hand on his arm, Xia An found himself at a loss for words.
He understood Tang Wan was seeking release.
Her only reason for finding him was to avoid dying alone.
Diagnosed a year ago, her uncle had borrowed money to provide enough for surgery and treatment, but nothing more.
At the brink of death, she received no care.
In her perception, the world at over thirty degrees Celsius must have felt unbearably cold, Xia An thought.
Tang Wan sat silently, staring ahead.
The closer they neared the hospital, the tighter her grip became, colder and trembling.
Finally, Xia An found words of comfort, patting the back of her hand:
“You must believe that miracles happen in this world.”
Tang Wan looked at him gratefully.
Fragile, gentle.
She should have been like a flower in full bloom—entering a wealthy family by virtue of her beauty was nothing.
Yet now she abandoned all etiquette and morality, clinging tightly to a young man almost a stranger.
It wasn’t that she lacked the will to live—she was simply terrified.
As a friend accompanying her, Xia An was unafraid, for he had experience and the right mindset to handle such matters.
After getting out of the car, under the scorching July sun, Tang Wan shivered, unable to stand.
She crouched down, holding Xia An’s hand, looking up at him with pouting lips and eyes brimming with tears.
Just as Xia An was about to speak, Tang Wan burst into sobs.
Suddenly, a chill ran down Xia An’s spine.
Not impatience, but a profound empathy born from the terror of life and death.
He bent down and lifted Tang Wan, embracing her like a middle-aged man seasoned by life, whispering softly:
“Don’t be afraid. Whatever I promised, I will keep.”
Such scenes were common at hospital entrances; some glanced sideways but none took offense.
On the way in, Tang Wan murmured without pause:
“Xia An, I’m twenty-five, a graduate student in mathematics at Zhejiang University.
“I don’t like going out; most of my time is spent at home playing online card games.
“I love gardening, and I’ve only ever dabbled in a small business outside your school once—no other jobs.
“Xia An, I have no friends, never been in love, never been with a man. I’m not the kind of woman you saw last night at the bar—that was my first time there.
“Xia An, I, I, I...
“That’s it. This is my life, no more.
“Xia An, you must remember to engrave this on my tombstone.
“You just write... write...
“I don’t know what to write; there’s nothing to write.”
Tang Wan pressed her pale lips together, deeply sorrowful.
For a long time, she had felt countless times that she did not belong in this world.
Like a magnet whose poles were reversed after being heated, every time she approached, all her kind drifted away.
In the lobby, Xia An stopped and faced her:
“She bloomed like a flower in the darkness, withering at dawn.”
Tang Wan stood on tiptoe and hugged Xia An tightly.
“Thank you. Even as a ghost, I will repay you.”
“I believe you really are from the mathematics department.”
Without registration, and with no need for it, Tang Wan led Xia An confidently to the neurology department.
---
The white-haired chief was anxiously on the phone. Upon seeing Tang Wan, his expression shifted repeatedly.
In his eyes, Xia An saw surprise, sorrow, pity, and... remorse?
The chief hung up and said to Tang Wan:
“Xiao Wan? You’ve finally decided to have the surgery?”
Tang Wan nodded. The chief sighed and asked, “Where’s the previous scan? Let me see.”
Tang Wan paused, thought for a moment, then looked at Xia An like a child who had done something wrong.
She weakly said, “Lost it.”
Xia An guessed it was probably left at the bar last night.
Before the chief could respond, a young nurse hurried in, saying, “Director Zhao, everyone’s waiting.”
The chief said, “Coming right away.”
Then he stood and looked at Tang Wan:
“It’s okay, we’ll do the scan shortly. I have a surgery to finish; I’ll call you afterward.”
Throughout, the elderly doctor never glanced at Xia An.
Xia An asked Tang Wan, “Are you familiar with this doctor?”
They headed towards the radiology department; Tang Wan said, “He’s a friend of my uncle.”
No wonder. Xia An said nothing more.
This was the province’s top hospital; patients with all illnesses preferred to come here.
The CT scan queue had over eighty people; the nurse told them to return in three hours at the latest.
Tang Wan grew anxious and whispered to the nurse, “Director Zhao said...”
The nurse waved dismissively and rolled her eyes: “No call yet.”
Startled by the sharp rebuke, Tang Wan hesitated and stepped back.
Others nearby muttered, “Is it really necessary to use connections for a CT scan?”
Tang Wan lowered her head deeply and told Xia An:
“My uncle always brought me here personally before; I could skip the line. Today, it might be late. You...”
Xia An smiled, signaling it was no problem. “My parents are traveling.”
Tang Wan forced a faint smile. “Thank you.”
Watching her stand dazed in line, Xia An went to the supermarket in the lobby.
As she waited, Tang Wan’s head grew dizzy; she nearly lost her balance, feeling as if death was imminent.
She turned to find Xia An, but could not see him, and panic surged.
She pulled out her phone—dead, shut down. Afraid to leave the queue, she panicked like a rabbit trapped in a snare.
When Xia An returned with two bottles of drink, she immediately relaxed.
Looking around, others had family accompanying them to the hospital...
She could only place her sense of security in a boy she barely knew.
She disliked this about herself, not understanding what she had done wrong.
She was just a girl.
A frightened girl who wanted to live.
Xia An helped twist open a bottle cap.
“Warm it, and drink.”
He had seen her condition and understood her heart.
“Don’t overthink. I swear on my pride below the waist, I won’t back out at the last moment.”
Tang Wan gave an helpless smile and shot him a weak glare but felt much more at ease.
Xia An asked, “How many days have you gone without sleep?”
Tang Wan said, “I haven’t slept well for a long time.”
Xia An helped her walk out.
“The CT scan can be done elsewhere—we’ll go to the Second Affiliated Hospital next door, no line.”
Seeing her confused, he explained:
“Who doesn’t have two friends? My dad’s high school classmate’s wife works next door. I told her my senior was unwell; she promised immediate arrangements.”
They exited through the back door and crossed the street. About two hundred meters east stood the Medical University’s Affiliated Second Hospital, though still some distance from the outpatient building.
The distinctive smell of disinfectant was absent, and Tang Wan visibly relaxed.
Unbeknownst to them, as they left the Central Hospital, a Bentley and two S600s entered the parking lot.
...
...
“Xiao Xia, you’re amazing.”
Just as Tang Wan entered the CT room, Lin Jiajia, in her thirties, bit into an apple and immediately gave Xia An a series of knowing glances.
Twisting Xia An’s arm, she cornered him against the wall.
“This girl looks younger than you, and you dared to tell me she’s your senior?
“Tell me honestly, when did you start dating? Pretty impressive—she’s beautiful.”
Xia An replied, “A senior is a senior. Can’t fake that.”
“A May-December romance? Your pretty boy self is chasing after seniors now? Exciting!”
Xia An was momentarily speechless.
His father’s old classmate was truly remarkable.
Easy to marry into wealth but hard to find true friends.
Though he had a new young wife, he remained close with his working-class father.
After the sophomore-year accident in his previous life, orphaned Xia An had been cared for extensively by Lin Jiajia and her husband.
Bearing gratitude from another timeline, Xia An felt a deep kinship with this alluring, spirited woman.
He pointed to his forehead: “Brain glioma, terminal stage.”
Lin Jiajia swatted his hand away, “Are you stupid, gesturing at yourself like that?”
Then covered her mouth in shock, “Is this real?”
Xia An nodded, “Identity and illness are both real.”
Lin Jiajia looked into his eyes, thinking it made sense.
---
These days, young people tough it out through minor ailments; no one comes to the hospital unless it’s serious.
Glancing back at the heavy doors of the radiology room, Lin Jiajia’s face showed compassion.
“So young, so tragic.”
She asked worriedly, “But how did they find you? No family to accompany you?”
Xia An promptly fell silent.
Lin Jiajia was kind but a bit brash; Xia An dared not say much.
After chatting about normal things and studies, Lin Jiajia mysteriously mentioned she had a gift for him before school started.
Xia An told her not to bother with surprises—money was most practical.
“That’s another matter.”
Lin Jiajia said, “You’re going to university soon. Want me to get you a banana peel lip surgery? I can find someone to make it look beautiful.
“How about it? This gift is sure to be popular.”
“...”
How disrespectful!
Lin Jiajia even said he could bring a friend; the second one would be half price, and she’d pay.
Xia An closed his eyes, ignoring her.
After Tang Wan finished the scan, she solemnly thanked Lin Jiajia again.
Her worn, fragile appearance made Lin Jiajia ache with sympathy.
If she weren’t used to big scenes as a surgeon, her straightforward nature would probably have made her cry on the spot.
“The CT results will be ready in half an hour. Come on, rest at my place.”
Less than fifteen minutes later, Lin Jiajia finally cried.
After hearing Tang Wan’s story, she felt even the most tragic lives weren’t this miserable.
Tears streamed down, and several tissues weren’t enough.
Surprisingly, Tang Wan comforted her in return.
Lin Jiajia held Tang Wan’s hand tightly, rubbing it.
“Good girl, don’t worry. No matter what, big sister’s got you covered.
“I know people in the medical system. I’ll ask around about connections over in Yanjing, and we’ll see.
“Don’t worry about money; my family has plenty.”
Tang Wan’s expression darkened but she still smiled, saying her uncle had also found a hospital in Yanjing with the same promises.
Lin Jiajia sobbed again: “Then I’ll accompany you through the surgery. Just Xia An alone won’t help much.”
After saying this, all of her snacks and fruit supplies were willingly handed over.
When Lin Jiajia went to fetch the CT results, Tang Wan approached and took Xia An’s hand.
“Thank you. For this last stretch, I’m very happy.”
Her delicate hands still cold, but a single falling tear burned Xia An’s hand, causing it to tremble.
Xia An nodded and wiped away the tear.
“If you could go back to before you were sick, what would you do?”
Perhaps, in the vast sea of life, she might be more deserving of a second chance than he.
“I was only diagnosed after a health check while working at a renovation training center. If I could go back then...”
Looking at Xia An, she genuinely smiled:
“Maybe I would have gone into my alma mater earlier and met that kind-hearted boy sooner.”
Xia An said, “Alright, but he was pretty average back then. You’ll have to put up with him.”
Tang Wan sat on the sofa, leaning on his shoulder with eyes closed.
“So tired, so sleepy, want to rest a while. Xia An, forget everything before this—will you visit my grave?”
“I will.”
“Remember to bring flowers—I like sunflowers.”
“Okay.”
Xia An said nothing more about sleeping well after admission, letting her rest.
Soon, hurried footsteps sounded outside the corridor, turning into a quick run.
Lin Jiajia burst through the door, hand on her hip, the other shaking the CT scan.
Her chest heaved sharply, her sharp fox-like eyes narrowed into slits as she glared fiercely at the seated pair.
“Well, what’s this? What’s the meaning of putting on a show here?”
Tang Wan tilted her head in confusion. Xia An’s eyes darted, sensing something, and he gently held back his senior from speaking.
Lin Jiajia slammed the door shut in anger, pointing at Tang Wan.
“You don’t speak first! I just shed two pounds of tears, and you have the nerve to act so well.
“Xia An! Tell me!
“Are you dating her secretly? Afraid to tell your parents, so you come to me first to gauge their reaction and divert the fire?”
Tang Wan looked at Xia An; Xia An looked back at Lin Jiajia, said nothing, and pointed at the scan in her hand.
“Is the scan clear?”
“No problems at all!”
Lin Jiajia slapped the CT photos on the table.
“Tang Wan, 25 years old, that’s you, right?”
She asked Tang Wan, who nodded.
“Get lost.
“You two do whatever you need to do. Come see me the day you have a baby!”